Bible Summary:
Jacob’s only daughter Dinah is raped by Shechem, the son of chief Hamor. Shechem then tells his father he wants to marry her. Hamor and Shechem bargain with Jacob and his sons for Dinah. Jacob’s sons require Hamor to circumcise all his males. Hamor agrees and gets approval from the townspeople to allow intermarriage by saying the Hivites could gain all the Hebrew wealth.
After all Hamor’s men are circumcised, Jacob’s sons Levi and Simeon avenge their Dinah’s disgrace by killing all the men of the village, including Hamor and Shechem, and taking all their possessions, women and children.
Jacob chastises Levi and Simeon for igniting a potential war with the other people of the area that could destroy his whole family. They reply, “We cannot let our sister be treated like a common whore.”
My Thoughts:
Revenge: Jacob seems more concerned about the repercussions against his family then the fact that his sons just killed all the men in the village. He understands that revenge is circular. Feuds can last for years or centuries.
Decisions: The story illustrates the difference between two decision-making styles. Jacob is more of a chess player, looking at everything at stake and the potential outcomes before acting in comparison to his reactionary sons who put the whole family in danger. It was a lot different back then with no laws, police or courts to settle issues like this and meter punishment.
Rape: After 4000 years, rape is still prevalent today. The United States is 6th in the world with 1 in 6 women having experienced at least an attempt (see Wikipedia Rape Statistics). Rape is never right, but I wonder if rates are higher in the U.S. because of suggestive TV shows, movies, and women’s clothing.
To Women: I am sure you have heard many times the defenses against UNknown attackers (take self-defense classes, carry pepper-spray, travel in groups at night, etc.), but be sure to learn what to do against KNOWN attackers.
Boyfriends are the hardest to deal with since so many other thoughts and emotions will distract you. Don’t be forced, bullied, or humiliated into doing it. If you do not want to have sex, you do not have to have sex. Say “no”, yell or scream “stop”, stand up and leave. If necessary, hit, slap, or kick him or lock yourself in the bathroom and call for help.
You may feel embarrassed, concerned about what your friends will think, or worried about how you are going to handle your relationship with him later. All this pales in comparison to what you will feel if you allow him to have sex with you unwillingly. It will affect the rest of your life. Be strong!
If he won’t listen about your wants and needs then he isn’t the right guy for you anyway. Don’t worry about losing him; you WILL find a nice guy. You are a beautiful person and you deserve better.
To Men: when a woman says “no” she means “no”. Respect her and yourself. Go for a long run, swim, or bike ride. Come back and talk to her. Let her know you will wait until she is ready. You be strong too – in this way.